Awareness behind the fence

From my previous blog nomadashram.wordpress.com, a post on realizing awareness.

So we made it to Baja, january the 6th, and after San Felipe, we met the Sea of Cortes. The landscape is desert-like and beautiful. By ocean big groups of pelicans dive, head first, to fish. Acouple of osprays do their fishing also but with their talons, and you can see them fliying away with the fish still moving. The water is calm and oppposite to it there are mountains and hills. I catch myself entangeld in my thoughts and having mixed feelings about the place and the trip itself. Complaining about the fences blocking the access to the shore, and the ugly few palapas and rusty Rv’s lining the beach on the sand, and allowing these thoughts to ruin the beauty of the nature. So here I find myself , judging “the ulginess” of it amidst the beuty of nature… Mainly i have antagonistic feelings about the trip at this point. I’m missing Ojai -the known place-, and i am still wary of Baja -the unknown place. Longing for home and feeling tired of all the travelling and the months ahead. Amazingly the awareness practice sets in and I am witnessing the whole process, the changing of the moods, how they come and go, how they feel in my body (blessed yoga!). I also become aware of the thread of my thoughts, and I can’t help but laugh at myself. My yogini sister Kira says- in her good sense of humour- that she highly recomends awareness because it’s hilarious. Today i definitely agree with her. When you bring awareness into what is happening with your body and mind, and how they relate, you can see how this relationship creates moods. And you realize how fast it all changes inside unless you choose to cling to one concrete mood, making it last and -if being of a negative nature- painful as well. So you realize that you are actually free to choose (clinging or not clinging). And yet you catch yourself emphasizing a mood that feels really bad in the body: stomach and chest contracting, muscles building up tension at a high-speed. Then you can’t help it but laugh at yourself!! So here I am, behind the fence, being inwardly and outwardly aware and watching this sea finding this land still unspoiled and almost pristine. And for this land I’m grateful. And to Yoga I’m grateful, because it is to gain awarness, which brings innerunderstanding, that I practice. And today I can say that my yoga practice is working. So, with a smile on my lips and in my heart, I lay my matt under the blue sky and start my daily sadhana.